


Come On Mess Me Up

by kpkl10



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, au where billy doesn't get possessed bc i feel like it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-21
Updated: 2019-09-14
Packaged: 2020-07-10 09:07:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 19,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19903252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kpkl10/pseuds/kpkl10
Summary: When Robin had called Steve up to the front counter at work, he’d been expecting her to tell him to take over. Instead, he got Billy and more trouble than he'd bargained for.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Title taken from the song Come On Mess Me Up by Cub Sports

When Robin had called Steve up to the front counter, he’d been expecting her to tell him to take over. He sighed as he made his way up front, rolling his aching shoulders. Apparently scooping ice cream was more of a workout than he’d thought.

Steve stumbled to a stop when he saw Billy standing on the other side of the counter, a distinct look of poorly hidden fear painted across his face. It felt like Steve’s stomach had dropped upon seeing him, suddenly reminded of their last encounter when Billy has beat the shit out of him. It had taken weeks for his bruises to fully fade. Robin looked at Steve and shrugged at his questioning expression. Steve cautiously stepped up to the counter as Robin went into the back. 

“Ahoy,” Steve said, though his heart wasn’t into it. Not that it ever really was, but this time in particular it was even more deadpan. “How can I help you?” 

Billy avoided any eye contact with Steve. “Max said sometimes you let her and her friends through a door at the back, and—” 

“I’m not going to help you sneak into a movie.” 

Billy shook his head, finally meeting Steve’s eye. “It’s not that. I just need a place to hide out for a while.” 

Steve shifted uneasily. “From who?” 

Billy opened his mouth, closed it, then opened it again. “Does it matter?” 

“If it’s the police, it does.” 

A shaky laugh left Billy’s lips. “It’s not the police.” 

Steve stared at him for a moment, thinking of the best way to tell Billy off. But something about the way Billy was standing there, like he was ready to dash off at a moment’s notice, made Steve reconsider. Maybe, just this once, he’d be nice to Billy. Not that it would get him anything. 

“Fine.” Steve gestured for Billy to come to the other side of the counter. 

Billy’s shoulders dropped a minuscule amount, then he followed Steve’s gesture. Steve showed him to the back door, and Billy went through it without hesitation. Steve glanced over at Robin as he hovered at the door. 

Robin stared him down for a second. Then she sighed dramatically. “Fine. I’ll man the counter. But you owe me.” 

Steve nodded. “Thanks.” He went through the door, closing it behind him. 

Billy was leaning up against the wall in the hallway, a blank expression on his face. But Steve could see the way his fingers were twitching, like he was itching to grab onto something. Steve stayed on the opposite side of the hall from him. 

“You wanna tell me what’s going on?” Steve asked as calmly as he could. 

Billy clenched his hands into fists, looking for a second like he was going to shut down and not talk. Then he slowly unclenched his fists. “I came here with my dad. He dragged me along to go get a birthday present for Sus— my stepmom. I mentioned something about my actual mom, and all of a sudden he looked like he wanted to bash my head in.” He paused to take a shaky breath. “I slipped out of the store when he wasn’t looking and came here. Which was a stupid move. It’s just going to make him even more mad.” 

Steve stood there, watching Billy as he wrapped his arms around himself. “Then why do it?” 

Billy shook his head. “I don’t know. I couldn’t be around him anymore.” He slid down the wall until he was sitting. “It’s suffocating when he’s mad. I feel like I’m going crazy.” 

Steve kicked at the floor a couple times with the toe of his shoe. Finally, he pushed off the wall and sat down next to Billy. They sat together in silence. 

Eventually, Billy whispered, “I’m sorry.” 

Steve glanced at Billy, at the pitiful look on his face. He decided to keep his mouth shut and let Billy say whatever it was he needed to say. 

Billy looked up and met Steve’s eye. “I didn’t— I shouldn’t have hurt you. Or Lucas. I don’t know what I was thinking.” He cleared his throat. “Actually, I do know. But it wasn’t anything to do with you. I was just looking for someone to take my anger out on. So. Sorry.” 

Steve hadn’t realized that Billy had it in him to be sincere. “Thanks.” He blew out a breath. “This doesn’t mean we’re going to be friends or anything.” 

“I know.” 

Steve nodded once. “What are you going to do about your dad? You can’t hide out here forever.” 

Billy’s face went a little paler than normal. “I hadn’t thought that far ahead. I guess I’ll go home. Deal with whatever he dishes out.” 

Steve swallowed. He didn’t feel right knowing that when Billy left, he’d be walking into trouble. But it wasn’t like he could do much about it. 

“Want some ice cream?” he said instead. 

The corner of Billy’s lips quirked up briefly. “Sure.” 

Steve stood up. “Let me guess: mint chocolate chip.” 

“So close,” Billy said with his usual self-assured demeanor. “I like the chocolate, but not the mint.” 

“Of course. I should’ve known you weren’t that complicated,” Steve teased as he slipped through the door. He held back a snort as Billy yelled out ‘Hey!’ after him. 

Robin turned to Steve as he approached the counter, managing to scoop ice cream without looking. “So who’s your friend?” 

“He’s not my friend,” Steve said, though he wasn’t quite as adamant about it as he would’ve been ten minutes ago. “We just went to school together. Can you get me some chocolate and strawberry ice cream?” 

Robin raised her eyebrows at him as she handed a cone over to a customer. “Do your hands not work anymore or something? Because they look perfectly fine to me.” 

“But you’re holding the scoop.” 

Robin shoved the scoop at him. “And now it’s yours.” 

Steve took the scoop as he stuck his tongue out at Robin. Robin surreptitiously flipped him off, then pulled the white board out to add another tally to the ‘You Suck’ side of the board. Steve shrugged it off as he scooped ice cream into two cones. He handed the scoop back to Robin on his way back out the door. 

Billy was still out in the hall, his eyes closed as he leaned the back of his head up against the wall. He would almost look peaceful if it weren’t for the visible tension in his shoulders. Steve cleared his throat quietly. Billy opened his eyes, focusing on Steve. For a moment, Steve felt held in place by Billy’s gaze. Then Billy’s attention went to the ice cream, and everything went back to normal. 

“You going to hold that until it melts, Harrington?” 

Steve glanced down at the ice cream, then handed the chocolate one over to Billy. “You know, you could be a little nicer since you’re getting free food out of this.” 

Billy gave him a charming smile as he took the offered cone. “Thank you. That better?” 

Steve rolled his eyes, even though he was a little swayed by the smile. “So much better.” He sat back down next to Billy, and they ate their ice cream in silence for a while before Steve decided to talk. “So how’s your summer going? Max said you’re a lifeguard at the pool.” 

Billy nodded. “I get paid basically to sit around and people watch. There are definitely worse jobs out there.” 

“Yeah, you’ve got a point there.” Steve picked at the bottom of his shorts. 

Billy made an amused sound as he ate his ice cream. “At least you look good in the uniform. Not just anyone could pull off the cartoon sailor look quite as well as you.” 

“That…” Steve shot a glare at Billy. “I’m going to take that as a compliment.” 

“Whatever makes you happy,” Billy said, more teasing than serious. 

Steve settled back against the wall to eat his ice cream. It was weird, talking to Billy like he hadn’t beaten him up. Steve didn’t think he’d ever talk to Billy again after that night. But here they were, somehow acting like everything was alright between them. 

“You know, if you ever, like, want to go swimming,” Billy said, “I can sneak us into the pool at night.” 

Steve tilted his head to look at Billy. “I… Thanks. I have a pool at my house, though.” 

“Oh.” Billy only seemed a little bit crestfallen. 

“You could come over sometime and swim.” Steve had no idea why he’d just said that. They weren’t friends. He had no reason to try to be friends with Billy. 

Billy stared at him for a long moment. “I can’t tell if you’re joking or not.” 

“I’m not. Surprisingly.” 

Billy was silent for a moment, then he let out a laugh. Steve sent him a questioning look. 

“You’re too nice for your own good,” Billy said, a bittersweet tone to his voice. “I don’t think this town deserves you.” 

Steve blew out a breath, his stomach in knots. “If this is some way to get more free ice cream—” 

“It’s not.” Billy waved his cone at Steve. “I’m not even done with this one yet. I just meant, you’re being nice to me when you have no reason to. And it’s, you know. Thanks, I guess.” 

Steve nodded, not sure how else to respond. He’d only ever seen the cocky, self-interested side of Billy. He’d had no idea that Billy could think of people other than himself for more than a second. Not that he was about to say that out loud. 

“I should go,” Billy said suddenly. “The longer I stay here, the madder my dad’s going to be.” He stood up, seeming to draw back in on himself. “Thanks. Again.” 

Steve stifled back a sigh as he watched Billy walk through the door back into scoops. He clenched his jaw before standing up and rushing after Billy, who was dumping his remaining ice cream in the trash. 

“Billy, wait,” Steve called out to the boy’s back as he started to walk past the counter. 

Billy stopped and turned around, a slightly surprised look on his face. “What is it Harrington?” 

Steve grabbed a stray receipt and a pen before jotting his number down quickly. Then he handed the piece of paper over to Billy. Billy glanced down at it. 

“My number,” Steve said. “Call if you ever… Or don’t call. Whatever.” He thought he saw an amused smile across Billy’s face. 

Billy folded the paper up and stuck it in his pocket. “I’ll see you around.” 

“Yeah. You, too.” Steve didn’t stop Billy again as he walked out of the shop. His heart was beating hard, and his brain was wondering just what the fuck he’d done. 

“Not friends, huh?” Robin said, leaning against the counter. 

“Shut up,” Steve replied, but there wasn’t any force behind it. He finally let out the sigh he’d been holding in. “What time is it?” 

Robin checked her watch. “Time for you to get back to work so I can slack off.” She smiled sweetly as she held the ice cream scoop up for him to see. 

Steve sighed one more time. 


	2. Chapter 2

Steve rolled over in bed, then kicked the sheets off of himself. He wasn’t getting to sleep no matter what, it seemed. He heaved himself up out of bed and slipped out of his room. He walked quietly through the hallway to the stairs even though he had no reason to; his parents were never home so he had no one to wake up.

Steve was halfway down the stairs when the phone started to ring. The loud sound in the silent house startled him. He went down the rest of the stairs, squinting at the clock on the wall on the way. It was after midnight. If it was a telemarketer, he was prepared to cuss them out. 

Steve fumbled around in the dark before he picked up the phone and said, “Hello?” 

A second of silence, then a small voice saying, “Steve?” 

“Uh, yeah. Who—” 

“It’s Billy. I didn’t wake you up, did I? Or your parents? God, I didn’t think about that.” 

“It’s fine. I was awake,” Steve interjected, even more confused than before. “And my parents aren’t home. Why are you calling?” 

“Um, this is so stupid,” Billy said, more to himself than Steve. “I just— my dad’s been on a rampage, and he finally went to bed an hour ago. And I want to get out of the house, get away from him for even a couple hours.” 

Steve was silent as he took everything in. It’d been almost two weeks since Billy had come into Scoops, two weeks since either of them had seen or spoken to each other. Steve had become convinced that he wouldn’t come across Billy again unless it was by coincidence. 

“Never mind,” Billy was saying, taking Steve’s silence for rejection, it seemed. “I’ll just—” 

“Let me give you my address,” Steve cut in. “You can come over, and we’ll watch a movie or something.” 

“Okay.” Billy’s voice was quiet, but Steve thought he could hear relief in it. 

Steve gave Billy his address, then they were hanging up. Steve put the phone back on the receiver, staring at the darkened silhouette for a long moment. Then he took a breath and started turning on lights in the house. After he turned on the light in the kitchen, he leaned up against the counter, rubbing at a knot in between his shoulders. 

What was he even doing? Billy wasn’t his friend, so there was no good reason for Steve to jump straight to inviting him over. Except for the fact of Billy’s dad. Steve let out a long breath as he ran his fingers through his hair. If he kept going down this path, they might actually end up being friends. The idea didn’t seem quite as bad as he’d thought it would. 

Steve shoved himself off the counter and settled down on the couch in front of the TV to wait. He wasn't tired anymore, like he’d chugged a cup of coffee. But it was Billy who’d done this to him, jolted him wide awake. He wasn't sure how long he’d be able to sit still. 

Steve nearly jumped out of his own skin when, about twenty minutes later, someone knocked on the front door. He stayed on the couch for a moment, torn between ignoring it and going to open the door. In the end, he got up and went to the door, opening it with only a little bit of hesitance. 

“Hey,” Billy said, standing partially in shadow on the porch. His voice was soft, as if he was afraid of waking some unknown person up. 

“Hey.” Steve stared at him for a moment. Then he stepped aside and gestured for Billy to come in. 

When Billy stepped inside, into the light, Steve bit back a gasp. A bruise was starting to form under Billy’s left eye and his lip had been split open. The way Billy held his side as he moved made Steve more upset than it should’ve. 

“Who—” Steve began, then shut his mouth. He already knew who’d done this to Billy. “Do you want some ice?” 

“No. I’ll be fine. I’ve had worse.” Billy said it all with a straight face. 

Steve drew in a shaky breath. What he wanted to do was ask what could’ve been worse but he wasn’t sure he wanted to know. Instead, he gestured towards the couch and said, “At least sit down.” 

Billy nodded, going over to the couch and sitting down with a grunt. Steve followed him, but didn’t sit down. He felt like a ball of nerves. 

“Do you want something to eat? Or drink?” Steve asked. 

“I want you to calm down,” Billy replied bluntly. “You’re acting like I’m some sort of caged animal. I’m not going to hurt you. Not anymore.” 

Steve forced himself to sit down on the other side of the couch from Billy. “That’s not what I was thinking. It’s just weird, is all. Why call me?” 

Billy stared at the wall and shrugged. “I had your number on my nightstand. I wasn’t really thinking straight at the time. Just saw it and called.” 

Steve made a small sound. “So I wasn’t actually a choice for you. I was just convenient.” 

“It’s not like that,” Billy replied, glancing at Steve. “Honestly, I can’t think of anyone else who would help me out. Not like you’re doing.” 

The words hung heavy in the air as Steve fell silent. When he spoke, his voice felt too loud. “What would you have done if I’d said no?” 

Billy’s jaw clenched momentarily. “Don’t know. I used to just ride my bike to the beach in California. Can’t really do that here.” 

“No, you can’t.” Steve didn’t want to know how often Billy had had to make that escape. 

“But I’ve got you,” Billy said. “At least tonight. And you’re not too bad.” 

Steve shot him a small glare. “Not _too_ bad? Really? You couldn’t think of something better to say?” 

Billy suddenly grinned at him, even though it must’ve hurt his injured lip. “Sorry, Harrington. Guess I meant to say you’re amazing and awesome and have the best hair ever,” he said in a joking tone. 

Steve stared at him in awe, finding himself caught up in Billy’s smile. It was the most genuine thing Steve had seen from him in a long time. It took him too long to shake his head and let out a laugh, which sounded forced to his ears. 

“You’re such a dick,” Steve said, trying not to trip over his words. 

Billy seemed not to notice as he leaned back. He just kept smiling, like he was oblivious to the state his body was in. “You said you have a pool, right?” 

Steve took a breath to steady himself. “Yeah. Why?” 

Billy raised his eyebrows. 

Steve gave it a second. “Okay, yeah, I know the answer to that. But can you swim when you’re, you know?” 

Billy’s smile slipped a bit. “Not really. But at least I can float. Or at least sit by the water.” 

“You don’t have a swimsuit. And I don’t have an extra one I can give you.” 

“Harrington, please. Do you really think that’s going to stop me?” 

Steve opened and closed his mouth. Then he shook his head slightly. “I mean, okay. I guess you can swim in your clothes but I don’t know why you’d want to. I don’t think it’d be comfortable. And then—” 

“Steve.” Billy’s interruption was soft, but the use of Steve’s first name made him stop mid-sentence. “I meant that I’d go without clothes.” 

Steve met Billy’s gaze for half a second before looking away. “Oh. I— yeah, I guess that makes sense.” 

Billy let out a huff of breath. “You’re so…” He cleared his throat. “We don’t have to swim, if you don’t want to. It’s your house, after all.” 

“No, it’s fine.” Steve had a creeping feeling that he was getting in over his head but he couldn’t stop himself now. He stood up and pulled his shirt off without thinking. “You know what, maybe I’ll join you.” 

Billy gave Steve a wide-eyed look. His tongue darted out to lick at his lower lip. He gave a laugh but it sounded a little shaky to Steve’s ear. Maybe he wasn’t the only one feeling too nervous for his own good. 

But then Billy was standing up and pulling his own shirt off. “Lead the way, pretty boy.” The smug smile he wore covered up anything else he might’ve been feeling. 

Steve didn’t let himself look anywhere but Billy’s face. Then he made his feet move towards the back door. He could hear Billy following behind him. Steve opened the door and waved Billy through. He messed up and found himself staring at Billy’s back, the way his muscles moved as he stepped out of his sweatpants. And then Steve’s brain went a little more haywire as he got to see Billy in nothing but his underwear. 

“Well?” Billy said, turning around to face Steve, who tried to arrange his face into some normal expression. “Are you coming or what?” 

Steve took a breath and flipped the switch next to the door. The lights in the pool flickered on as he stepped outside. Billy was already walking towards the pool. Steve cursed under his breath as he struggled out of his pajama pants. He was not going to… 

Not going to what? Be attracted to Billy Hargrove? 

No, he wasn’t. Not even close. He’d never be into a guy. He wasn’t like that. 

And yet here he was, watching Billy balance at the edge of the pool, the bruises on his torso visible in the blue light filtering through the water. He wanted to reach out and run his fingers across the bruises like he could make them go away with a gentle enough touch. 

Then Billy was sitting down and sliding into the pool. It broke the spell Steve was under as he realized he was standing in his backyard in his underwear in the middle of the night. He let out a breathy laugh, more at himself than anything else. He was just tired, was all. That’s why he was acting odd. He got to the pool at the same time that Billy resurfaced from the water, pushing wet hair out of his face. 

“You coming in?” Billy asked, wiping off his cheek. 

Steve sat down at the edge of the pool and let his legs dangle in the warm water, trying to avoid staring at Billy. “I don’t know. You’re not going to try to drown me, are you?” 

Billy swam closer and rested his chin on the concrete, looking up at Steve. He was so close to Steve’s leg that he could feel his warm breath on his skin. “Haven’t decided yet.” 

Steve huffed out a laugh that sounded more like a strangled noise before getting all the way into the pool. He dunked his head underwater, relishing in the feeling of being completely surrounded by water, before coming back up. Billy was still in the same place, staring at Steve. 

“Do you ever want to get out of Hawkins?” Billy asked, gaze intense in the dim pool light. 

Steve moved to grab onto the side of the pool, distancing himself from Billy a bit. “Yeah. I mean, I’ve got friends here, but I’ve also been here my whole life. It’d be nice to get out of here for once.” And to get away from any memories of the Upside Down and all the shit that had gone down with it. But he wasn’t about to say anything about that. 

Billy made a sound of agreement. “Where would you go?” 

Steve shrugged. “Canada, maybe.” 

“Canada?” 

“They’ve got, you know, maple syrup and… the Canadian flag. Mountains, probably. I don’t know a whole lot about Canada, actually.” 

Billy was grinning at him. “You’re so fucking ridiculous.” 

Steve splashed some water at Billy, who didn’t even try to dodge it. “Well, then, where would you go?” 

“California. It definitely has mountains, too.” Billy’s grin faded. “It was nice there. Sometimes I wonder how bad it would be to just leave Hawkins tomorrow and never come back.” 

Steve can’t say he would blame Billy for doing something like that. He’d probably do it, too, if he was in Billy’s position. Hell, he’d do it even if he wasn’t. If he had enough courage to do it. 

“Anyway,” Billy said, pushing off from the side of the pool. “I guess there are better things to worry about.” 

“Yeah, I guess so.” Steve clung to the side of the pool as Billy floated on his back. He tore his gaze away from the bruises dotting Billy’s skin and stared up into the night sky, at the small sliver of moon barely visible behind the clouds. He wondered how long he’d last outside of this town with barely any money and no one to call a friend. Not very long, most likely. It didn’t make it any less tempting of an idea, even if it was terrifying. 

Steve sighed and sank back under the water again. He held his breath for as long as he could before coming up to the surface. When he did, he saw that Billy had climbed out of the pool and was sitting on the edge. He was holding his hand over his mouth. 

“I think I’m bleeding again,” Billy said in answer to Steve’s look. He took his hand away from his mouth and showed it to Steve. Sure enough, there was a thin line of blood on his palm. And there was more blood coming from his split lip. 

Steve got out of the pool. “There’s a first aid kit somewhere in the house. Don’t know what you’re supposed to do about something like that, but we can probably figure it out.” 

Billy made a noncommittal sound but he stood up anyway and followed Steve back into the house, neither of them caring about dripping water on the floor. “I usually just let it bleed until it stops.” 

Usually. It wasn’t a good word to hear in this case. Steve turned his head slightly to hide his frown. 

Steve headed into the bathroom. He rummaged around in the cabinet below the sink before finally finding and pulling out the first aid kit. He turned around and steered Billy back to the kitchen, where he instructed him to sit at the table. Billy complied, but he didn’t look all that happy about it. 

“You don’t have to do anything,” Billy said as Steve dug through the kit. He was holding his knuckles up to his lip. “You’ve already done enough, really.” 

Steve glanced up at him as he grabbed the bottle of hydrogen peroxide from the bag. “What’s that supposed to mean?” He swiped the clean kitchen towel lying on the counter. 

“I wasn’t— That came out meaner than it was meant to. I meant that you’ve already helped me once, back at the mall. And then you’re nice to me again tonight for no reason. Don't you ever just do something to be selfish?” 

Steve poured some of the alcohol onto the towel then sat down in front of Billy. “Sure. Who doesn’t?” He grabbed Billy’s chin after only a brief hesitation, and Billy dropped his hand. Then Steve pressed the towel to Billy’s lip, attempting to ignore Billy’s stare. 

Billy hissed in a breath as the alcohol touched his wound. He squirmed a little but couldn't move his head much with Steve’s hand keeping it in place. Steve held the towel to his lip for a while, applying pressure as much as he could without hurting Billy too much more. When he removed the towel, Billy immediately sunk back into the chair. 

Steve leaned forward to look at the wound. It seemed to have stopped bleeding. At least for now. He didn’t think he could do anything else to patch it up. At least, not from his limited medical knowledge. 

Billy’s intense gaze was fixed on him, though. Steve wasn’t quite sure what was going through the boy’s mind. Was he wondering if Steve got any joy out of hurting him? 

“How does it feel?” Steve asked, hoping Billy could hear in his voice that he wouldn't be hurting Billy if it wasn’t to treat his wound. “We can still put ice on it.” 

Billy kept staring at him. Then he finally moved to sit up straight. “No. It’s fine. Thanks, though.” 

Steve nodded. He placed the towel on the table. “You could stay the night, if you wanted.” The thought of eventually sending Billy back into a lion’s den felt worse now than it did the last time they’d seen each other. 

“I should go, actually,” Billy said suddenly. 

“But I thought—” 

“I’ve got to get up early for work tomorrow.” 

Steve shut his mouth and nodded, a sinking feeling in his stomach. “Okay.” 

Billy stood up and collected his shirt off the floor. Steve stayed at the table while Billy went outside to grab his pants. He didn’t know it was possible to feel this sick about something. He should say something else to keep Billy here. 

“Hey.” 

Steve looked up at Billy, who was fully dressed now. It just made Steve feel even more out of place, sitting here in only his underwear. 

“Thanks,” Billy said, not exactly making eye contact with Steve. “Really.” 

Steve cleared his throat. “Of course.” He cursed himself for not being able to say more. 

Billy hesitated briefly, looking like he was struggling with something. “If you ever want to, I don’t know, get lunch or something…” 

Steve sucked in a small breath. “I’d like that.” 

Billy’s smile was so fast that Steve barely caught it. “I’ll see you around, Harrington.” 

Steve watched him leave the kitchen. He waited until he heard the front door open and close before slouching over the table. His stomach was in knots. He wanted to get up and go after Billy, but something held him back. 

It took Steve a minute to realize it was fear. Fear of trying to get closer to Billy, to be around him more. To say something stupid that he probably wouldn’t mean. It ate at him as he went back outside and got back into the pool. He went underwater and held his breath until his lungs screamed for air. 

It only made him feel a little bit better. 


	3. Chapter 3

Robin kicked Steve’s shin, grasping the counter for support. She had an incredulous look on her face. “Are you fucking kidding me?”

Steve shushed her as he rubbed at his leg. There was a family in here with three little kids. The last thing he needed was parents yelling at him and Robin for bad language. 

“It isn’t that big of a deal,” he said, keeping his voice low. 

Robin also lowered her voice. “Not a big deal? You practically went skinny dipping with one of the most popular guys in Hawkins.” 

“You didn’t even know who he was two days ago.” 

“I’ve done some research. I have my ways.” Robin paused as two girls walked in together. Since they weren’t coming up to the counter just yet, she continued. “It’s just, don’t you think it’s weird? You told me you two were basically enemies, and now you’re inviting him to your house in the middle of the night.” 

“Of course I think it’s weird. How could I not?” Steve turned his attention to the two girls as they stepped up to the counter. He put on his fakest smile as he and Robin took their orders. As the girls walked away with their ice cream, Steve said, “He’s different now, though. More… subdued.” 

Robin raised her eyebrows. “That’s a big word coming from you.” 

Steve rolled his eyes. 

“Oh, hey, I think I see your boyfriend,” Robin said, peering past the crowd outside. 

Steve looked in the same direction. Sure enough, Billy was walking towards Scoops, his hands shoved in the pockets of his shorts. 

Then Steve registered what Robin had actually said. “He’s not my boyfriend.” 

Robin shrugged. “Whatever you say.” She patted him on the back before heading into the back. 

Steve shook his head. He watched as a girl came up to Billy and started to talk to him. Steve felt a weird twist to his stomach as Billy put on a charming smile, laughing at whatever the girl was saying. Eventually, the girl moved on and Billy came into the shop. The smile he gave Steve was softer than the one he’d given the girl. 

“Hey,” Billy said as he leaned his hip against the counter. “Looking good, sailor.” 

“Ha. Good one.” Steve spun the scoop in his hand, trying not to feel anything when Billy’s smile widened. Billy’s face was still a little messed up, making him think back to the night at his house. Today’s Billy felt different; he was more chipper, more confident. “You here for ice cream? Or just to make fun of me?” 

“Me? Make fun of you? Never.” Billy shifted a bit, becoming a bit more serious. “Actually, I came to ask when you get off work.” 

“Uh, I’m done at two. Why?” 

Billy gave a casual shrug. “I was going to ask if you wanted to get something to eat after.” 

Steve tried ignore the way his stomach kept turning. “Are you paying?” 

Billy let out an amused huff. “I guess I do owe you. Sure, why not.” 

Steve grinned at him. “Good. Wait for me at the fountain later?” 

“Aye aye, captain.” Billy gave a mock salute as he backed up from the counter. 

“The more you make fun of me, the more food I’m going to order,” Steve called out after him as he walked out of the shop. 

“Oh, my god. You’re so fucking dense.” 

Steve spun around to face Robin. “What the hell are you talking about?” 

“Um, the fact that you just got a date with Billy Hargrove,” she whispered dramatically. 

Steve floundered for a bit before saying, “No. No. We’re not even friends.” 

Robin reached out to pat him on the shoulder. “Sure. Someone who isn’t your friend comes all the way to the mall to ask you to lunch. Makes sense.” 

Steve decided to ignore her, knowing he wouldn’t get anywhere by arguing. Besides, he’d seen the way Billy had been talking to that girl. There was no way Billy would ever be into guys. He turned back to the counter in time to see Dustin running into the shop with Max and Lucas on his tail. 

Dustin came up to the counter and unceremoniously slammed his hands down on it. “You,” he said emphatically. 

Steve looked around then pointed to himself. “Me?” 

“Yes, you. Who else would I be talking to?” 

“I don’t… know. What do you want?” 

“We just saw Billy walk out of here,” Max said, coming to stand at the counter beside Dustin. “What was he doing?” 

Steve shook his head slightly. “Asking me—” _out on a date_ , his mind finished for him. It made him want to turn around and glare at Robin, though she probably wasn’t even in sight anymore. “Asking if we sell pistachio ice cream. Why do you care what he’s doing?” 

Lucas stepped forward. “We think he’s up to something.” 

“He’s been acting weird lately,” Max added. “He’s been really quiet the past few days, and I don’t like it.” 

“So, what, you think he’s planning to take over the world?” Steve watched as all three kids frowned. 

“He might be,” Dustin said conspiratorially. 

“We just want to know what he’s been up to, okay?” Max said. “Are you sure he only wanted to ask about the ice cream? And he didn’t even buy anything?” 

“That’s odd not to buy anything.” Lucas crossed his arms. “There’s definitely a reason he came in here other than to ask about a flavor. Do you think maybe he’s plotting against Steve?” 

Steve dropped his elbows onto the counter and held his head in his hands. He wasn’t about to break the kids’ fun and tell them that Billy had probably been quiet because of the shit with his dad. But who knew what trouble they would get into if they kept going down this path. 

Steve straightened up. “Look, if you want the truth, Billy came in here to ask me to go to lunch.” 

Dustin’s frown deepened. “Why wouldn’t you just say that in the first place? It’s because you said no, right?” 

Steve opened and closed his mouth. The look on his face must’ve told the kids everything because they all suddenly seemed upset. 

“Oh, my god, Steve,” Lucas said. “You can’t go to lunch with him. He’s probably going to poison your food.” 

“Or stab you with a steak knife,” Dustin interjected. 

“Oh, Billy wants to stab him,” Robin said as she popped her head out through doorway leading to the back of the shop, “but not with a knife.” She raised a suggestive eyebrow at Steve. 

Dustin gasped. “He wants to use a fork.” 

“No,” Steve said, making a cutting gesture with his hand. “Nobody wants to do anything to me. Not even Billy. Can’t you guys just let it go?” 

“No,” all three kids said as once. 

“This is why I don’t hang around kids,” Robin muttered. Then, louder, she said, “Are any of you going to buy some ice cream?” 

Dustin reached into his pocket, then reached back up to slam his hand down on the counter, sending coins flying. “Hit me with a banana split.” 

Robin gave Steve a look that said, ‘You deal with this.’ Then her head disappeared back through the doorway. 

Steve stifled a sigh as he scooped coins up off the counter and counted them out. Surprisingly, Dustin has put down the right amount. He stuffed the coins in the cash register, and set to making the sundae. By the time he finished, the kids had all settled themselves at a table. 

“One banana split,” Steve said as he placed the sundae in front of Dustin. 

“Thanks, Steve.” Dustin grinned up at him. 

“Yeah, yeah. Just don’t make any trouble.” 

“Us?” Max said innocently. “Never.” 

Steve made a noise to let her know he wasn’t convinced before walking away. He peeked in the back room to glance at the clock hanging on the wall. He only had fifteen minutes before he could clock out. He hadn’t realized that it was so close to two. 

Steve returned to the counter, drumming his fingers on the smooth surface. He had no reason to feel nervous about meeting up with Billy, but he did. And it wasn’t because the kids thought Billy was going to kill him. It was just… he felt odd around him. Maybe it was because Steve never knew what Billy was really like until lately, and it was throwing him off. 

Steve powered through the last fifteen minutes as best he could, keeping an eye on the kids— who were whispering amongst themselves— and serving the people who came in. When Robin came to the front to take over, Steve felt some relief. At least he didn’t have to be at work anymore today. 

Steve signed out, chucking his hat onto the table before leaving with a wave to Robin. Robin shouted out ‘Good luck!’ as he left, and he resisted the urge to turn back and flip her off. The kids were already gone, and Steve wondered if they were out scouting for Billy again. Steve shook his head and steadily made his way towards the mall’s fountain, slipping easily through the crowd. 

Billy was already at the fountain, one foot perched up on its edge while he waited. Steve slowed his pace as he got closer. Billy hadn’t noticed him yet as he stared off into the throngs of people passing by. He didn’t miss the tension set into Billy’s shoulders, even while he made a show of looking relaxed. Steve took a slow breath before walking up to Billy and tapping him on the shoulder. 

Billy jumped a little as he turned towards Steve, his foot slipping off the fountain’s edge. “Hey,” he said, shooting Steve a smile. 

If Billy _was_ planning on killing Steve, he could probably do it with that smile right there. 

“Hey, yourself,” Steve managed to say, forcing the thought out of his head. “Where are taking me to lunch?” 

“I was thinking of this fancy little place called Dairy Queen. Don’t know if you’ve ever heard of it.” 

Steve held back a grin. “No, I don’t think I have. Must be very upscale.” 

“Oh, yeah. They’ve got fluorescent lights and everything.” 

*****

Steve stared out the window of the Dairy Queen, cherishing the daylight. He was so used to leaving Scoops at night that he’d started to wonder if the sun was a myth. 

“You’re going to go blind staring at the sun like that,” Billy said from across the booth he was sharing with Steve. 

Steve tore his gaze away from the outside world and picked up a fry. “I’m just trying to convince myself that it’s real.” 

Billy snorted. “You’re so fucking weird.” He almost sounded affectionate when he said it, but Steve thought he might’ve just imagined it. 

“I don’t know. You look pretty c— I don’t know. Maybe you’re right.” Billy stuffed some fries in his mouth. 

Steve huffed out a laugh. “I know I’m right. That uniform is terrible.” 

Billy shrugged. “If you say so.” 

Steve took a sip of his drink. “Did you know your sister is stalking you?” 

Billy stopped chewing on his fries, frowned, then finished chewing before talking. “She what?” 

“Max came into Scoops today, after you left. She had Dustin and Lucas with her, too. She was asking why you’d come into the shop. Thinks you’re up to something nefarious.” 

“I’m not. At least not that I’m aware of.” Billy tapped a finger on the lid of his drink. “She not here now, is she?” 

“I…” Steve looked around the restaurant but didn’t see three kids hiding anywhere. “I don’t think so.” 

Billy let out a little huff of breath. “Good. Can’t have her around when I kill you.” 

Steve froze. Then he saw the slight smile on Billy’s face. 

“Fuck you,” Steve said halfheartedly. “The kids said the same thing to me. Can’t believe I almost believed you.” 

Billy was grinning now. “Sorry, Harrington. If it’s any consolation, I’d never kill you on purpose.” 

Steve threw a fry at Billy, but he deflected it so that it landed on his plate. Steve leaned back with a sigh. Billy picked at his food for a moment. 

“I don’t want her getting hurt, you know?” Billy suddenly said, staring down at the table. 

“Max?” 

Billy nodded. “I know she’s not a little kid anymore, and she probably has some idea of what my dad is really like. But if I can keep her away from all of that for just a little while longer, I’d be happy.” 

“You’re afraid if she follows you around, she’ll figure it out.” 

“Yeah.” 

Steve bit the inside of his cheek. He was wishing he’d told the kids off a bit more firmly. But he couldn’t do anything about it right now. Instead, he leaned forward and stole his fry back from Billy’s plate. 

“Why don’t you come over to my house?” Steve asked. 

Billy looked at him, confused. 

“If you’re there, you’re not around your dad. You could actually spend the night this time. If you wanted.” Steve mentally braced himself for Billy to reject the idea. 

Billy stared at him for a moment, then said, “Okay.” 

“Okay?” 

“Yeah, okay. It means yes.” 

“I know what it means.” Steve stole another fry from Billy’s plate. “I just didn’t expect you to say it.” 

“Why not?” 

Steve shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess, after the last time you were over, I thought you wouldn’t want to come back. You left so quickly.” 

Billy shifted in his seat. “Sorry about that. I just… got scared.” 

Steve shook his head. “About your dad finding out you were gone?” 

Billy opened and closed his mouth. “You know what, it’s not important.” 

Steve felt like pushing the subject, but knew it wasn’t a smart idea with Billy. He would have to settle for the answer he’d gotten. 

Then Billy was reaching across the table to snag the last of Steve’s burger. He grinned before eating it, and Steve thought it was a pretty sight as the light streaming through the window illuminated his golden curls. His chest felt tight. He didn’t know what to do with that thought. It wasn’t like he could say it out loud. Not now. Not ever. 

*****

Steve took the proffered bottle of whiskey from Billy, not letting his fingers linger on Billy’s as they brushed against each other. It was already dark outside, though Steve wasn’t sure what time it was. He couldn’t quite remember how much they’d drunk, either, which should’ve made Steve worry about how he’d hide the missing alcohol from his parents when they eventually got home from their trip. Instead, he took another swig and leaned further back into the couch. He felt loose and warm. Much more prone to do or say something stupid. 

“How do you do it?” Steve asked, voice rising over the song playing on the radio. His words were a little slurred together, and he told himself that the next time he spoke he’d do better. 

Billy looked at him like he was a little crazy. “You know I can’t read your mind, right?” His own words aren’t very clear or concise, either. 

Steve gestured with the bottle at Billy. “Date so many girls. How do you do it? Not-- I’m not asking _how_ to get girls. I just don’t get how you can go from one to another so fast. It seemed like you were with a different girl each week when we were in school.” His words almost sounded bitter. They certainly tasted bitter. 

Billy’s shoulders went up an inch. He reached out a hand for the bottle, and Steve handed it over. He took a long swig, then coughed. “I don’t know. I don’t really enjoy it that much, honestly. I’ve never really found a girl that I like all that much.” 

“Then why keep doing it?” 

“I guess I’m hoping I’ll eventually find a girl I want to stay with.” 

“Seems lonely,” Steve said quietly. 

Billy’s head snapped towards Steve, anger and then pain flashing in his eyes. He clenched and unclenched his jaw. “Maybe.” 

Steve started to say something, but was distracted as the song changed on the radio. “Oh, shit, I love this song.” 

“Really?” Billy said, eyebrows raised. “Cyndi Lauper?” 

Steve stood up, momentarily swaying on his feet. “It’s a good fucking song, Billy.” 

Billy snorted loudly. “You’re drunk.” 

“Yeah, and?” Steve snagged the whiskey bottle from Billy, took a drink, then shoved it back into his hands before screaming out, “If you fall, I will catch you, I will be waiting, time after time!” 

Billy let out a loud laugh, even as he was trying to say, “Shut up, weirdo. You’ll wake the whole neighborhood.” 

Steve ignored his words, continuing to sing. It just made Billy laugh harder. Steve grabbed his arm and pulled him up. 

“Sing with me,” Steve said. “It’s fun.” 

“No fucking way,” Billy replied with a grin. “Not happening.” 

“Come on. Just let it out. I know you want to.” Steve took the bottle out of his hand again and set it on the coffee table. 

“Taking the alcohol away won't make me say yes, Harrington.” 

Instead of replying, Steve gripped Billy’s shoulders, any sense of embarrassment or personal space gone. Then he started dancing, and Billy had no choice but to move with him if he didn’t want Steve to accidentally dislocate his shoulder. Billy grabbed onto Steve’s elbows, trying and failing to look disgruntled. 

Billy let out a dramatic sigh. “Fine. You asked for this.” He fell silent until the chorus came back, then began belting out the song with Steve. 

By the end of the song, Steve could barely breathe. Even though Billy’s fingers were digging into his skin, he was grinning. Steve grinned back at him, a warm feeling curling in his stomach. He passed it off as the alcohol as a slower song started, which he barely registered as he watched Billy’s smile fade from his face as he stared at Steve. 

Then Billy dropped his head, his hair brushing Steve’s chin. He was shaking slightly, and Steve thought he was laughing until he heard the quick intake of breath that only crying could cause. It shocked Steve into something like sobriety. 

“Billy?” Steve asked softly. He let go of Billy’s shoulders, placing his hands on either side of Billy’s face. He felt the wetness on the boy’s cheeks before lifting his head back up gently. 

Billy refused to make eye contact, choosing to stare at the floor. But the tears on his face and the soft sobs that escaped his lips were unmistakable. 

“I’m never going to be happy,” Billy said, the words forced past his lips. “I’m never going to get away from all this bullshit.” 

Steve’s fingers tightened on Billy’s face, feeling like a replay of Nancy’s confession was happening before him. Then he snapped back to reality. This wasn’t Nancy. This was Billy. And they weren’t anything like he and Nancy had been. He forced his fingers to relax. 

“What do you mean?” Steve asked, his voice a little shaky. 

“One day, he’s going to go after me and he won’t hold back. I’m going to die in this shitty town, and the only good thing I’ll ever know is you.” 

Steve opened and closed his mouth. He didn’t know how to respond, or even if he should respond. Billy’s words sounded like they weren’t meant for him to hear. He almost flinched when Billy leaned forward and rested his head on Steve’s shoulder. Steve took his hands off Billy’s face, ignoring how wet they were, and held Billy to him. 

“It’s okay,” Steve whispered, his voice shaky. “You’re okay.” 

Billy had to be drunk. Otherwise, this would never happen. Steve unhurriedly moved Billy away from him and towards the couch, where Billy sat down heavily. He looked like a wreck. Steve was sure he didn’t look so great himself, either. 

“You should get some sleep,” Steve said, pulling the blanket off the back of the couch and handing it to Billy. He then turned to turn off the radio, silence rushing in too fast. 

When Steve turned back, Billy was already laying down with the blanket pulled over him, his back to Steve. Steve stared at the rising and falling of the blanket with each breath Billy took. He clenched his hands into fists involuntarily. He was angry, but at what? Billy’s dad? The world? Himself? 

Steve blew air out through his nose and forced himself to relax. He stepped forward and briefly placed a hand on Billy’s shoulder, giving it a squeeze. He wanted to convince himself that Billy was solid, that he wouldn’t fall apart at the slightest touch. And he didn’t. 

Steve let his hand drop. He tore his gaze away from Billy and headed towards the stairs. When he got to his room, he collapsed on the bed. It felt like someone had carved a hole in his stomach. 

He didn’t get much sleep that night. 


	4. Chapter 4

The light streaming through Steve’s window woke him up. He grumbled to himself, gripping the back of his neck as he tried to fight off a headache. The clock on his nightstand was telling him it was eleven in the morning. He’d only gotten to sleep around two hours ago.

Steve propped himself up on his elbows, glaring at the window until his eyes couldn’t take it. It took him a moment to remember what had gone down last night. He blew out a long breath as he stood up slowly. He swayed on his feet for a moment before righting himself. He made his way downstairs, pausing briefly on the steps as he caught sight of Billy’s sleeping form on the couch, feeling tension form in his shoulders. He forced himself not to stare, to instead keep moving. 

As quietly as he could, Steve went to the kitchen. He searched through the pantry before pulling out a box of cereal. Thankfully, there was milk in the fridge to go with it. When he turned to grab a bowl, he saw Billy standing by the kitchen table. He had the blanket wrapped around him and his hair was a mess. 

Steve stopped in his pursuit of breakfast. “Hey.” 

“Hey,” Billy replied, his voice a little croaky. He didn’t look all too excited about being up. 

“Do you want something to eat?” 

Billy shook his head, winced, then sat down at the table. Steve nodded, more to himself than Billy, and proceeded to find a bowl and spoon. He poured the cereal and milk in before joining Billy at the table. He ate in silence, willing to let last night’s situation go unspoken if Billy had somehow blocked it out in his drunken haze. 

Unfortunately, it didn’t seem like he had. 

Billy shifted in his chair, cleared his throat. “About last night.” 

Steve froze with the spoon halfway to his mouth. “Last night?” 

Billy frowned. “I said some… stuff, and I just want you to know I didn’t mean any of it. I was drunk. I didn’t know what I was doing or saying.” 

Steve only said, “Oh. Okay.” What he wanted to say was that Billy seemed pretty sincere last night, that even if he had been drunk that his words still had to mean something. But he managed to keep his mouth shut. 

“You are a good person, though,” Billy said, wrapping the blanket tighter around himself and looking off to the side. “I guess I meant that. ‘Cause I like being around you.” He offered Steve a small smile, blue eyes almost translucent in the early afternoon light. 

Steve felt his chest tighten at the words. It hurt so bad he thought he wouldn’t be able to breath in. He wanted to keep Billy here like this, keep this moment somewhere safe. And then he hated how even simple words from Billy could make him feel like this. It wasn’t right. It wasn’t right how Steve wanted to keep Billy close, to learn more about him than anyone else, to grab hold of him and not let go. 

Steve placed his spoon back in the bowl, ignoring his shaking hands. “I, uh, have work in an hour, so maybe...” He didn’t like how weak his voice sounded. 

Billy was silent a moment, face giving nothing away. Then he said, “I should get home, anyway. I’ve also got work today.” 

Steve nodded. He should’ve felt bad about basically pushing Billy out the door. He did feel bad. But he also knew that he might do something stupid in the next five minutes if Billy stayed. Something he wouldn’t be able to take back. 

Steve somehow held it together long enough to see Billy out the door. He closed the door, then waited until he heard the Camaro drive off. When he was sure Billy was gone, he slid down the door to sit on the floor. 

Steve had no reason to care about Billy. Billy, who’d acted like they were enemies in school and beat him up at the worst time possible. And yet here Steve was, worrying about him and wanting him to at least be safe if he couldn’t be happy. It wasn’t supposed to work out this way. Steve should’ve kept Billy at arm’s length instead of letting him under his skin. 

But when had anything gone according to plan recently? 

Steve lost track of time as he sat on the floor, trying to convince himself that he didn’t care about Billy. By the time he was able to pick himself up, he only had twenty minutes until he had to get to work. He took the stairs up to the bathroom with shaky legs and turned on the shower. 

When Steve had pulled off his clothes, he stepped under the scalding hot water and just stood there. He wanted to scrub all his thoughts away until his skin was an angry red. But he didn’t. He knew it wouldn’t work. 

So he did his best to act like everything was normal. He managed to shower and get dressed in less than ten minutes, then drive himself to work with five minutes to spare. Robin was already behind the counter when Steve walked into Scoops. 

Robin eyed Steve as he walked past her. “You look like shit.” 

“Thanks. You sure know how to make a boy feel special.” Steve quickly signed in before heading back out front. 

“I try my best,” Robin replied with a smile. “So, how was—” 

“Oh, thank god. You’re alive.” 

Steve turned at the sound of Dustin’s voice, watching as he came into the shop with Max and Lucas. 

Lucas stepped up to the counter with a grim expression on his face. “Did Billy try to kill you?” 

Steve started to think on last night, redirected himself. “No. Nothing bad happened. He’s not evil, you guys.” 

“I don’t know.” Max crossed her arms. “He’s got a date with a girl tonight. I think we’re going to follow him.” 

Steve pictured Billy out with a girl and suddenly found it hard to breathe. “Don’t,” he said in a strangled voice. He felt like he was saying it to himself more than the kids. 

Robin gave him a searching look. “Steve’s right. Billy’s got a right to his private life. If you go messing with that, he probably will turn evil.” 

All of the kids grumbled but didn’t give any sign of wanting to back off. 

“Are you going to buy something, or what?” Robin demanded. 

Dustin stepped forward and slammed money down on the counter. “Hit me with a hot fudge sundae.” 

Robin sighed as she took the money. Steve set about making the sundae, searching for a distraction. He shouldn’t be so upset about Billy going on a date. It wasn’t like it was an abnormal thing. Steve had tried his hand one too many times trying to get a date with a girl. 

But it was different this time. Steve’s brain tried to supply to him why, but he diligently ignored it. He frowned as he handed the sundae over to Dustin. Dustin frowned back at him. 

“What’s wrong, man?” Dustin asked. “You’re acting weird today.” 

“Nothing’s wrong,” Steve said a little too forcefully. 

Dustin opened his mouth to say something but Robin interrupted him. 

“Why don’t you twerps take your ice cream and go eat it somewhere else?” It was more a command than a question. 

The kids started to argue with her but one glare from Robin was all it took to get them to quiet down and leave. She turned to Steve and pushed his shoulder lightly. 

“Go sit down, Steve,” she said, more gentle than she had been with the kids. 

Steve didn’t even try to argue with her, just went into the back and sat at the table. Exhaustion suddenly swept over him and he slumped forward. He put his arms on the table to keep himself somewhat upright. He heard the sound of moving metal, then something hitting the floor. It took him a second to realize that Robin had closed the gate that separated Scoops from the mall when no one was here. 

Robin came into the back a moment later, throwing herself into the chair across from Steve. “Tell me what happened.” 

Steve stared at her. “I don’t--” 

“You know exactly what I’m talking about. Something’s eating at you, and I have a strong feeling it has to do with a certain Billy Hargrove.” 

Steve’s arms slid forward across the table, making him slump over more. “He didn’t do anything to me. Not physically.” 

“But?” Robin supplied. 

“But…” Steve didn’t want to say it out loud. Saying it out loud made it real. Yet he said it anyway because if he didn’t it would feel worse. “But it fucking hurts that he’s going on a date with a girl.” 

“Is it that he’s going out with a girl, or is it that he’s not going out with you that hurts?” 

Steve’s head snapped up to meet Robin’s keen eye. He opened and closed his mouth a couple times before he could make any words form. “I— I guess it’s that it’s not me. I guess I thought, after yesterday, after being together all day, that maybe... Robin, how did you know you liked girls?” 

Robin almost looked a little taken aback at the abrupt question. But then her face softened. “I think I’ve always known. I never had any interest in boys, especially not when all the girls started going boy-crazy when they got older. I always found myself thinking about girls when I should’ve been thinking about boys. It wasn’t until I had a name for it that I really knew for sure that I was gay.” 

“I’ve only ever dated girls because that’s what I like,” Steve said, but now the words sounded hollow in his ears. He was thinking back on every encounter he’d ever had with a guy, trying to remember what he’d felt for them. “I loved Nancy. I really did. How can I be into girls my whole life and then suddenly find a guy attractive?” As soon as he said the words, he wanted to take them back. He clenched his hands into fists, wanting to scream. 

Robin reached out and squeezed his hand. “Hey, it’s okay,” she said softly. “There’s nothing wrong with you for liking Billy.” 

“I guess I shouldn’t get too worked up about it. It’s not like he likes me back, anyway,” Steve said bitterly. He saw a drop of water splash onto the table and belatedly realized he was crying. 

“You don’t know that.” 

“Yes, I do. Everyone knows that Billy can and does get any girl he wants. So what would make me so special when I’m just a guy who works a shitty job in a shitty costume?” Steve stopped to catch his breath. 

“Stop it, Steve,” Robin said so forcefully that Steve froze. “I’ve seen the way Billy looks at you. I’d bet you my life savings that he likes you back.” 

Steve huffed out a laugh as he wiped at his face. “Well, you’re never going to find out because I won’t be making a move.” 

Robin kicked his leg. “Your loss.” 

Steve tried and failed to keep a smile on his face. “We should go open the gate. I don’t need to lose the only job I have.” 

Robin eyed him but didn’t say anything. Steve was happy that she was letting it go. The last thing he needed right now was more talk of his hopeless situation. 

By the time he got off work at six, he was ready to collapse on the nearest surface and sleep. He managed to hold it together he until he got home, thankfully. He went straight to the couch and sat down, turning on the TV for background noise as he closed his eyes. 

Steve had just barely started to doze off when the phone rang. He jumped a little before leaning forward and wiping a hand across his face. It took three more rings of the phone for him to get to it. He picked it up, mumbling a ‘hello'. 

“Steve?” a frightened voice said. 

Steve came all the way awake. “Who is this?” 

“It’s Max,” she said, her words shaky. Like she was crying. “I need help. Billy needs help.” 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to leave a little thanks for all the sweet comments I've been getting on this fic, each one makes me so happy! So, thank you!!

“Tell me what’s happening,” Steve demanded, his hand gripping the phone so hard he thought it might break.

“Billy’s hurt,” Max replied. “Neil hurt him.” 

Steve didn’t need to hear anything else. “Give me your address.” 

Max rambled it out, and Steve jotted it down on a piece of stray paper nearby. His hand was shaking as he wrote, but he did his best to ignore it. 

“I’m coming over right now,” Steve said when Max was done speaking. She barely had time to utter a ‘thank you’ before he was hanging up. 

Steve grabbed his keys on the way to the door and was outside a second later, climbing into his car. His hands were still shaking as he reached to grip the steering wheel. He remembered the first time Billy had come to his house, beat up but resigned. He wondered if it was worse this time. Then he told his brain to shut up as he pulled out of the driveway and started towards the Hargrove’s house. 

When Steve got there, he could see Billy’s car out front, along with two bikes and a skateboard. He was out of the car and at the front door before he knew it, not caring that he could be in danger if Billy’s dad was still here. He raised his hand to knock, then hesitated, the fear suddenly catching up to him. 

Steve shook his head and knocked anyway. It took less than five seconds for someone to open the door. Lucas stood there with wide eyes. 

“He’s in the kitchen,” Lucas said as Steve stepped past him. 

Max and Dustin were already in the kitchen, kneeling next to Billy. He was sprawled out on the floor, his face a bloody mess. Steve felt panic hit him first. And then came the anger. Anger at Billy’s dad, who could do this to his own son and leave him here for the kids to find. 

Steve dropped to his knees beside Billy, not really hearing whatever Max was saying. Billy’s eyes fluttered open when Steve ran a thumb across his cheek, below a cut. 

“Steve?” Billy asked weakly. 

“Yeah, it’s me. I’m here.” Steve leaned back for a second, taking in all three of the kids’ terrified faces. He dug into his pocket, then held his keys out to Dustin. “We’ve got to get him out of here. Go start the car.” 

Dustin didn’t hesitate. He took the keys and ran outside. Max and Lucas crowded around a little bit closer. Steve slipped an arm under Billy’s legs and then under his back. As he lifted Billy up, he made a pained sound. 

“Shit. Sorry,” Steve said, straining to keep Billy from falling out of his arms. 

Max and Lucas trailed behind Steve as he walked outside to his car. Dustin ran around from the driver’s side to open the back door. Steve gave him an appreciative nod before trying his best to gently lay Billy across the back seat. 

For a moment, as Steve hovered over Billy in the car, he reached up and lightly touched Steve’s face. “Are you going to take me away?” he asked before closing his eyes and letting his head fall back on the seat. 

Steve had to check that he was still breathing. When he was sure Billy was alive, he pushed himself out of the car. He was on his way to the driver’s side when Max let out a yell. 

“It’s Neil!” She was pointing behind him. 

Steve looked out at the road to see a car pulling up to the curb. It stopped with a jerk and a man stepped out, anger on his face. 

“What the hell is going on here?” the man— Neil— demanded. 

Steve didn’t answer him, instead turning to the kids and saying, “Get in the car.” 

All three of them ran towards the car. Max jumped into the passenger seat while Lucas and Dustin half climbed on top of Billy to get into the backseat. Steve slipped into the driver side, thankful that Dustin had already started the car. He put it in reverse and started to back out of the driveway. 

A loud thump and a jolt startled Steve as the car hit something. He hit the brakes as the kids screamed out. 

“You hit him!” Lucas yelled. 

Steve turned in his seat, looking out the back window. Neil was nowhere to be seen. 

“Oh, my god, Steve,” Max said in a panicked rush. “He’s getting up.” 

Steve saw Neil stand up behind his car and stumble around the side with a murderous look in his face. All three kids screamed once more as Steve hit the gas again. Neil hit the side of the car with a fist as it passed by him, and Steve briefly caught a glimpse of blood running down the side of his head. 

Then Steve was changing gears and driving away from the house, away from Neil. He gripped the steering wheel so hard his hands hurt. 

In the rear view mirror, he could see Dustin and Lucas sitting crammed together on the edge of the backseat with wide eyes. Billy was out, not having moved an inch through the whole ordeal. He glanced over at Max’s pale face. She was leaning forward, hands braced against the dashboard. 

Steve forced himself to look at the road. Doctor. They should get to a doctor. Steve didn’t think he could clean Billy up on his own. Not this time. 

It came as a relief to see the lights in the nearby doctor’s office still on. Steve pulled into the parking lot, not caring about parking correctly. The kids were jumping out of the car before he’d even turned it off. Steve took a moment to breath, then got out, too. He shook himself. He opened the back door. 

Billy was still passed out in the backseat. Steve gently nudged him until he groaned. Finally, Billy’s eyes fluttered open. 

“Where the fuck are we?” Billy asked hoarsely, starting to act like himself again as he stared up at Steve. 

“Doctor’s office,” Steve replied. “I need you to get up.” 

“No, no doctor. I don’t need one.” 

“Yes, you do. Now get up, Billy.” 

Billy stared at him a moment longer. Then, slowly, he sat up. Steve could see how his arms shook, but he didn’t dare look away. As Billy slid out of the car, Steve grabbed hold of his arm to steady him. 

Billy momentarily grasped at Steve’s shirt as he stood up. “Why do you keep doing this, Harrington?” 

Steve started toward the office, towing Billy along. “Doing what?” 

“Helping me.” 

Steve glanced over at him, his stomach turning over at the sight of his face. “We’ll talk later. Right now we need to go in there.” 

Billy made a noise but didn’t argue. The kids were at the door, Lucas holding it open. Steve and Billy went inside, greeted by the sight of a woman sitting at the front desk. She took one look at Billy and pulled paperwork out, placing it and a pen on the counter. 

“Fill this out,” she said monotonously, moving the paperwork towards Steve. She looked at Billy. “Come with me.” 

Steve reluctantly let go of Billy, watching the nurse escort him out of the lobby. As the door swung shut behind her, he picked up the papers and pen, then sat down heavily in a nearby chair. Max sat down next to him as Lucas and Dustin found their own chairs to sit in. 

Steve stared blankly at the questions in front of him. He almost flinched when Max took the papers from him and began filling them out. Steve sank back in his chair, wrapping his arms around himself. 

Wait. They’d just have to wait. 

*****

Dustin and Lucas were playing Rock, Paper, Scissors to pass the time. Steve idly watched them as he held Max close to him. She’d climbed into his lap after returning the paperwork she’d been filling out to the lady at the desk. Then she’d promptly fallen asleep, exhausted by the day’s events. 

Steve wanted to go to sleep, too, but forced himself to stay awake. He didn’t know how long they’d been in the doctor’s office. It felt like hours, though it had likely been much less than that. 

The sound of shuffling feet coming from behind the door leading to the examination rooms caused Steve to straighten up, nearly throwing Max onto the floor. He managed to keep his hold on her, but she started awake with a sharp inhale. As the door opened, she shoved out of his lap. Steve got to his feet as well. 

Billy limped out into the lobby by himself. He’d been bandaged up wherever there had been cuts, but the bruise discoloring his right eye was on full display. Steve’s feet were stuck in place, but Max rushed forward to latch onto Billy. Billy winced but put his arms around her. 

Billy met Steve’s gaze, a haunted look on his face. The face of someone who knew this wouldn’t be the last time he’d end up like this. But the next time it happened, there might not be anyone to help pick him up. A heavy weight settled in Steve’s chest. 

Steve forced his feet to move, slowly approaching Billy. Billy straightened up a bit, one hand leaving Max’s back. Steve reached out and briefly squeezed it before letting his hand drop back to his side. 

Billy stared at him with an unreadable expression before quietly saying, “What now?” 

Steve saw Dustin and Lucas coming to stand next to him. “I don’t know. I’m not taking you back… there, though.” 

Billy inclined his head, like he’d known Steve would say that. He gently pried Max off of him, then held an arm out towards Steve. Steve moved closer, letting Billy wrap his arm around his shoulder for extra support as they walked out of the building. Steve held onto Billy’s waist a little too tightly, but he was afraid of letting Billy go at this point. 

“Thanks,” Billy said, only loud enough for Steve to hear. 

Steve glanced over at him, trying not to let his gaze linger too long. “Of course.” 

Billy looked like he wanted to say more, but kept his mouth shut as they got to the car. Everyone piled in, silent. No one said anything as Steve drove to his house, not sure where else to go. 

As they all got out of the car, Steve tossed his keys to Lucas. “You guys go in,” he said to the kids. 

None of them argued, just went up to the house and let themselves in. Steve waited until the front door was shut to turn to Billy. He was leaning up against the side of the car, seeming ready to fall over and go to sleep. 

“You should stay,” Steve said. 

“Where am I going to go, Harrington?” Billy asked, straightening up a bit. “You’ve got the car, not me.” 

“No, I meant--” Steve paused, gathering up his nerve. “You can’t go back to that house. I won’t let you.” 

“You ‘won’t let me?’” Billy seemed incredulous. “What are you, my mother?” 

“Look,” Steve said as he stepped closer, “you can stay here. At my house. We can go get your stuff when no one’s around. There’s an empty room--” 

“Stop.” 

“--and it’d be all yours. You’d be safe here. You wouldn’t have to worry about your dad or--” 

“Stop it!” 

Steve snapped his mouth shut, stunned by Billy’s sudden anger. He’d pushed away from the car, standing with his fists clenched. 

“I don’t want your pity, Harrington,” Billy spit out. “Not now. Not ever.” 

Steve worked his mouth, trying to find the right words. “I’m not pitying you. I’m trying to help you.” 

“Why?” Billy pulled a hand through his hair, looking frustrated. “Why do you keep helping me? I’m not worth your time. I don’t know what you want from me, but I can’t give it to you.” 

“I don’t _want_ anything from you. I want to help you because I care about you, you dumbass.” 

Billy stopped with his hand still in his hair, giving Steve a look that could only be described as scared. “Don’t.” 

Steve shook his head, confused. “Don’t what? You’re not making any sense, Billy.” 

“Don’t care about me,” Billy said, his voice rising. 

Steve heard his voice get louder, too. “Why the fuck not?”

“Because you’re just going to leave me like everyone else I’ve ever loved.” Billy fisted his hands in his shirt, like he wanted to rip it apart. “And I don’t need any more of that bullshit. My life’s already fucked up enough without you coming through and messing it up even more.” 

“I…” Steve stood frozen in place, watching Billy grab onto the car to steady himself. His hands felt cold, even though it was hot and humid outside. 

Billy leaned over to rest his head on the roof of the car. When he spoke, his voice was hoarse. “Can’t we just go back to how it was before? When you hated me and it didn’t bother me at all?” 

Steve forced himself to take a breath. It slowly brought his senses back to him. Maybe Billy hadn’t meant that he _loved him_ loved him. In fact, it wasn’t likely at all. Billy was too into girls for that. It hurt like a bad burn to think about, but Steve had to be realistic here. 

Steve finally walked over to Billy and grasped his shoulder. “Maybe we should go inside.” 

Billy glanced up at him, looking lost. But then he nodded, letting Steve steer him towards the front door. The kids all gave them curious looks when they went in. Steve shook his head when Dustin started to open his mouth. He shut it, reluctantly turning back to the TV, which was playing a commercial. 

Steve wasn’t able, however, to stop Lucas from speaking. 

“If it makes you feel any better,” Lucas said to Billy, “Steve ran your dad over.” 

Max slapped him on the arm. “Shut up, idiot.” 

Billy turned to Steve with wide eyes. “Please tell me he’s kidding.” 

“Well, it was more like I hit him,” Steve said, shrugging. “On accident. He got back up like two seconds later.” 

Steve expected Billy to get angry at him. Maybe yell at him, cuss him out. Instead, a grin slowly spread across Billy’s face, all traces of his earlier breakdown gone. 

“You’re a mad man, Harrington.” 

“It was an _accident_ ,” Steve stressed. 

Billy just shook his head, still smiling. Then his smile faded a bit as he said, quiet enough for only Steve to hear, “I’m sorry. About what I said outside. You saved my ass tonight. I owe you.” 

Steve stared at him for a moment, wanting to say so much. But he couldn’t, not now. Not with the kids so close. 

“Hey, dumbfucks,” Max said, seeming to have bounced back to her usual self. “Are you going to stand there staring at each other all night, or are you going to bring me some food?” 

Billy flipped her off, only to get flipped off himself. He rolled his eyes and started towards the kitchen. 

Steve walked to the kitchen with him. “If you want food, you’ll have to get it yourself,” he called out over his shoulder. 

The kids groaned loud enough to make Steve smile. Billy scoffed in amusement next to him. As Steve went towards the fridge, Billy caught his arm, stopping him. Steve watched as Billy glanced into the living room, where the kids were all still staring at the TV. When he looked back at Steve, he almost seemed surprised that he was holding onto him. 

“Sorry,” Billy murmured before letting go of Steve. 

“It’s fine,” Steve replied, but didn’t move. He hesitated before stepping in close and pulling Billy to him. 

Billy went stiff as Steve wrapped his arms around him. For some reason, Steve only felt alright now that he could feel Billy against him. Billy slowly hugged Steve back, breathing out a sigh that seemed to deflate him. 

“I don’t plan on leaving you, Billy,” Steve whispered, needing to get the words out. 

Billy shuddered in his arms. Steve wanted to pull him closer, but Billy let go of Steve and backed away a step. For a second, it felt like Steve had lost a part of himself. 

“You say that, but…” Billy looked down at the floor. “Thanks, anyway.” 

Steve let his breath out through his nose. “You don’t have to believe me. But it’s the truth.” 

Billy nodded, still not looking at Steve. Then a smile seemed to tug at his lips. “You’re a hell of a guy, you know that?” 

“So I’ve been told,” Steve joked. 

Billy snorted, finally meeting Steve’s eye. He looked at him for a moment before reaching forward and running his fingers through Steve’s hair. Steve’s breath caught in his throat. Something simmered in his stomach only to be dashed out when Billy pulled his hand away to flick a piece of fuzz to the floor. 

“You got anything to drink?” Billy asked as if he hadn’t just tilted Steve’s entire world with one touch. 

Steve struggled to say anything for a second, then finally managed to force some words out. “Yeah. There’s some soda in the fridge.” 

Billy turned to Steve long enough to give him a small smile, then went over to the fridge and pulled it open. In the living room, the kids started yelling out for food. 


	6. Chapter 6

Light. Too much light.

Steve groaned as he rolled out of bed, his eyes half open against the morning light coming through his window. He closed the blinds, but he already knew he wouldn’t be able to get back to sleep. 

Steve wandered out into the hallway. He paused when he heard soft snores coming from one of the rooms. It took him a second to remember that the kids and Billy had all slept over. He peeked into the nearest room. 

Billy was curled up on one side of the bed, his back to Steve. Max, the source of the snoring, was sprawled out on the other side of the bed, one leg hooked over Billy’s leg. Steve started to huff out a quiet laugh, then swallowed it as he remembered last night’s events. Steve hesitated before pushing away from the door and heading downstairs. He found Dustin in the kitchen, pouring a bowl of cereal. 

“Morning,” Steve said, snagging the box from him before he could put it back up. 

“Morning,” Dustin replied as he went to sit down at the table with his cereal. 

Steve poured his own bowl and sat down across from him. “You okay?” 

Dustin gave him a questioning look. 

“After what happened last night,” Steve clarified. “I know we’ve both seen some crazy shit, but…” 

“I’m fine.” Dustin chewed thoughtfully on a spoonful of cereal. “I’m just curious, when did you and Billy get so close?” 

This was not a talk Steve wanted to have with Dustin of all people. “I don’t know.” He shrugged, trying to avoid any details. “It just sort of happened.” 

Dustin nodded slowly. “If you say so.” 

“I do. Why are you asking?” 

Dustin shrugged. “It’s just weird. The guy beat you up, and now you’re friends.” 

Steve sighed into his spoon of cereal. “Well, at least he’s not trying to kill me.” 

Dustin was quiet for a moment, then said, “What’s he going to do? Like, he can’t go back home, can he? I don’t think what happened was an accident.” 

“It wasn’t.” Steve frowned, not wanting to elaborate. “I don’t know what he’s going to do.” He knew he wanted Billy far away from his dad, but didn’t think he’d do it. Not after last night. Steve put his spoon down, a sour taste in his mouth. 

Footsteps coming down the stairs pulled Dustin’s attention away. Steve tried to stay still in his seat as Billy came into the kitchen with Max and Lucas right behind him. The kids rushed to grab food, but Billy stopped near the table, fixing Steve with a look. 

“Harrington,” he said, “I need to talk to you.” 

Steve just nodded, ignoring Dustin’s raised eyebrows. He got up and followed Billy through the back door. It was still fairly cool this early in the morning, and Steve breathed deep as he sat down at the edge of the pool with Billy. They both kept their feet on the ground instead of dangling them in the water. 

“I’ve been thinking,” Billy said after a while. He paused, staring at the water. “What if we left?” 

Steve took his time dissecting the words. “We?” 

“You and me.” Billy said the words so simply, like there wasn’t any weight to be had behind them. “I turn eighteen in a few weeks. Nobody could stop me from doing what I want then. And I want to leave.” 

“With me,” Steve said quietly, feeling a little numb when he should’ve been feeling a lot more. 

Billy nodded. “We won’t have much money, but we can make it work. We can pick up odd jobs here and there if we need to. Drive to California. Or Canada.” 

Steve briefly smiled despite himself. Then he thought of all those hours spent next to Billy, stuck in a car together wherever they went. He didn’t have much faith in himself not to let his feelings slip if they really left Hawkins. And who knew what would happen then. 

“You’re really serious about this?” Steve asked. 

Billy nodded. “You know what set my dad off last night? It was the fact that I came home two minutes later than I was supposed to. I can’t stay in that house anymore. I can’t stay in this town.” 

“What about Max?” 

Billy’s fingers twitched. “I don’t know. My dad’s never touched her. I’d just have to hope he doesn’t once I’m gone. And if I even suggested she leave, she’d tear me a new one. She has a life here.” 

_And we don’t_ , Steve thought. Sure, he had friends. A job. A place to live. But was he going anywhere that he wanted? There had to be something more for him out there, right? 

“You know,” Billy said, his voice cracking a little. He cleared his throat. “You don’t have to say yes. I could do it on my own. I _will_ do it on my own, if I have to. I just, I don’t want to. I’d rather have you with me.” 

Steve looked at Billy. Really looked at him, past the bruises and cuts. He saw the dark circles under his eyes. The slight frown to his mouth. The way he seemed to be bracing himself, as if ready to receive a blow. Not physically, but emotionally. 

Steve reached out, brushing his fingers against Billy’s. Needing to know that he wouldn’t pull away. 

Billy caught Steve’s hand, lacing their fingers together and holding tight. Steve felt Billy trembling, as if he was as unsure as Steve about where they were headed. Steve caught Billy’s eye, probably looking just as scared. 

“Let’s do it,” Steve said, his voice steadier than he thought it would be. 

Billy nodded, determination seeming to override the fear. “Let’s do it.” He let go of Steve’s hand, and Steve had to force himself to do the same. 

They sat and watched the water in the pool for a few minutes, silent. Steve felt jittery with the knowledge of what they were going to do. He wondered if he’d keep feeling like this up until they left. If they actually went through with it. Looking over at Billy, he knew for sure the other boy would go through with it one way or another. And if Steve backed out, it probably wouldn’t change any of his plans. 

“You think anyone will look for us?” Billy asked, still staring out at the pool. 

Steve took a slow breath. “I don’t know. My parents won’t know I’m gone until they get back from their trip. And even then, who knows if they’ll notice.” 

Billy looked over at Steve. There was something in his eyes, like he was seeing Steve for the first time. “That night we got drunk, you told me I seemed lonely.” 

Steve opened his mouth to respond, but Billy kept talking. 

“You seem lonely, too,” Billy finished. Then he huffed out a laugh. “We’ll make a great pair, won’t we?” 

Steve swallowed hard, feeling Billy’s words hit home. Then he forced words out of his mouth. “I guess we can be lonely together, then.” 

Billy smiled at him. “I like the sound of that.” 

“Who knows, maybe you’ll find yourself a girl out in California.” Steve hated the words as soon as they were out of his mouth. 

Billy’s smile fell a moment before he turned his head away and laid his chin on his knee. “Yeah. Maybe. Or maybe, I don’t know, there’s been someone right in front of my nose this whole time. And I’m just too scared to admit it.” 

Steve stared at him, wanting to ask who he was talking about but too afraid to find out the answer. He sighed quietly. “Well, whoever it is, you’ve still got time to tell her how you feel.” 

Billy glanced over at Steve. “Yeah, I guess I do.” He clenched and unclenched his jaw. “That girl you work with--” 

“Robin,” Steve supplied. 

“Robin. You two are dating, right?” 

Steve paused, then snorted. “Hell no. She’s not-- I’m not her type. Like, at all.” 

Billy seemed startled by the sudden outburst. “I just thought… You two seemed close.” 

“We’re just friends. And if I had a girlfriend, I wouldn’t be jumping on your idea to run away.” 

Billy blew out a breath. “I guess so.” He shook his head a little. “That’s good, then. No one to break up with before you leave.” 

“You don’t have to sound so happy about it.” 

Billy grinned. “It’s just nice to have you all to myself.” 

Steve ignored the sudden flare of warmth in his body at those words, and instead stood up. “Anyway, I’ve got cereal getting soggy in my bowl.” 

“Disgusting.” 

“Tell me about it. If only someone hadn’t pulled me away from my breakfast.” Steve made himself grin back at Billy before heading back inside. 

All three of the kids gave him curious looks when he walked into the kitchen. 

“What happened?” Max asked. “What did Billy want?” 

Steve shook his head. “Nothing. Don’t worry about it.” He didn’t like lying to her, but he wasn’t about to betray Billy’s trust. 

Dustin rolled his eyes. “Yeah, sure. Whatever you say.” 

Max frowned but sat back, pushing cereal around her bowl. Steve sat down across from her. It stayed silent even after Billy walked in. Steve met his eye as he sat down next to Max. It felt like there was so much to say, and yet he couldn’t say anything at all. 


	7. Chapter 7

The weeks passed slowly, each one a more excruciating wait than the last. Steve had managed to keep his mouth shut around everyone but Robin about his plan to leave with Billy. She had been upset at first, then finally understanding. And then she’d pestered Steve about telling Billy that he liked him, before they were out in the middle of nowhere with no way to turn back.

Steve wanted to say something, but he kept convincing himself that it wasn’t the right time. First, it was because Billy had taken the blame for Steve showing up at his house to rescue him so that Max wouldn’t get hurt. Steve had taken one look at the fresh bruises intermingled with the ones that were barely even a day old, and couldn’t stand the thought of placing anything else on Billy’s shoulders. Then, there had been a period of calm, and Steve didn’t want to do anything to disturb it. Now, it was a week before they were set to leave. They’d been planning things out bit by bit, and Steve wasn’t about to throw a wrench in their plans all because he had stupid feelings. 

Steve was sitting on his bed now, staring at the half-packed suitcase on his floor. There was only so much he could take. Everything would have to fit in the back of Steve’s car. They were leaving Billy’s car behind. It probably could’ve been sold for extra money if no one would’ve noticed if it was suddenly gone. Instead, it’d stay here in Hawkins. Maybe Max would get to have it when she started driving. 

Noise drifted up into Steve’s room from downstairs. He sat up straight in his bed, listening to the sound of the front door opening and closing. Then he heard the distinct voices of his parents. 

Steve blew out a sharp breath as he quickly kicked his suitcase under the bed. He’d just finished stuffing everything else into his closet when a knock sounded on his door. 

Steve went over to the door and opened it, trying to act casual as his mom’s face came into view. “Hey. You’re back early.” 

“Yes, well,” his mom replied, straightening out her dress. “You’re dad got sick, so we decided to cut the trip short. He’s resting on the couch right now.” 

“Oh.” Steve stood there a moment, then said, “Do you need help with anything?” 

“No. Just letting you know we’re here.” His mom hesitated, then reached out and brushed invisible dirt off his shoulder. “You should get a haircut, Stevie.” Then she turned and walked back down the hall to the bathroom. 

Steve stared after her until she was gone from sight. He rolled his shoulders, tension already building in his body. He forced himself to go downstairs, to where his dad was lying on the couch with the TV turned on. He still had his suit on, but the tie around his neck had been loosened. 

His dad grunted when he saw Steve. “You don’t have work today?” 

“No,” Steve said, feeling like there was some hidden jab behind the words. “How was the trip?” 

“Fine. Same old same old.” His dad turned his attention back to the TV, effectively ending their conversation. 

Steve wanted nothing more than to leave the house. Billy’s words about him seeming lonely came back to him. He shook it off as soon as the thought entered his head. 

Steve stood near the couch for a second longer, then made for the front door, grabbing his keys along the way. He heard his dad call something out, but ignored it as he shut the door behind him. He was in his car and driving away before he really realized it. Steve gripped the steering wheel hard. He could remember Billy laying in his backseat, beaten and bloodied. Part of him wanted to know how many times that had been done to Billy. The other part of him knew he’d only get angry at the answer. 

Steve found himself on a stretch of road with little but trees around. He pulled over and sat back. His parents weren’t anything as bad as Billy’s dad. Sure, Steve had been the subject of his dad’s anger once or twice, but he’d only ever ended up with a red mark across his face that went away after a couple hours. Not that it made it any better, he guessed. 

Steve searched out the dark areas in the trees stretching out from the side of his car. Sometimes, when Steve’s parents were gone long enough he forgot how little they cared about him. He should’ve been constantly reminded by the empty house, but it seemed all the worse when they actually were there. When they barely gave him a sideways glance. As if he’d needed any more of a push to get out of this town. 

Eventually, Steve started driving again. He belatedly realized where he’d taken himself when the community pool came into view. He could see Billy up in the lifeguard chair, watching the kids to make sure nothing bad happened. Steve parked and sat there a while, until he saw Billy climbing down from the chair as another lifeguard took over. 

Steve got out of his car and walked up to the fence as Billy passed by. Billy stopped when he saw Steve, then wandered over to the fence, fingers hanging onto the chain link. He looked better than he had in a while. No bruises were visible, and the dark circles under his eyes were gone for now. 

“Steve, hey,” Billy said, eyes searching his face. “What’s wrong?” 

“Did you know you’ve got like five moms staring at your ass?” Steve said instead of answering the question. 

Billy glanced over his shoulder, then turned back to Steve. “I’m aware.” He fell quiet a moment. “I’m done with my shift, if you want to go get something to eat.” 

“Yeah. I’d like that.” 

“Let me get changed and I’ll meet you in the parking lot.” 

Steve nodded. He watched Billy go, then went back to his car. He sat down on the hood, trying to ignore the sun beating down on his back. A few minutes later, Billy walked out to the parking lot. 

Billy inclined his head towards the Camaro. “My car, Harrington.” 

Steve didn’t argue, just followed Billy. He climbed into the passenger seat, suddenly feeling a little silly. He had bigger worries than his parents, yet they still got under his skin. He almost jumped when Billy laid a hand on Steve’s shoulder and squeezed. 

“You’re looking a little tense there,” Billy said, eyeing Steve. He had yet to start the car. When he realized Steve wasn’t about to speak, he turned the key and the car revved to life. 

Once they were out of the parking lot, Steve spoke. “You were right.” 

Billy glanced over at him. “There’s a lot of things I’m right about. You’ll have to be specific.” 

Steve didn’t even have it in him to banter with Billy. “My parents got back home today. And it’s like I barely exist to them, even though we haven’t seen each other in weeks. And I felt so… empty. Lonely.” 

Billy’s hands tightened their grip on the steering wheel. “I shouldn’t have said anything about that. I’m sorry.” It seemed he’d known exactly what Steve had been thinking about, the words said beside the pool. 

“Don’t be. I should’ve seen it sooner.” Steve paused, watching buildings pass by out the window. “I don’t feel that way with you, though. It’s like, even though stuff’s fucked up, if we’re together, it seems a little less terrible.” He felt his stomach turn at admitting all of that. He held his breath as he waited for Billy’s response. 

Billy looked over and held Steve’s gaze for a second before turning his attention back to the road. “I feel the same. Like it’s us against the world,” he muttered. 

“Yeah,” Steve said, feeling a little relieved. “Just like that.” 

Suddenly, Billy grinned. “I should teach you how to surf.” 

Steve snorted. “Where the fuck did that come from?” he asked, even though he knew Billy was only trying to distract him from thinking about his parents. 

Billy shrugged. “I was just thinking, when we get to California, we’ll have to visit the beach. And we can go surfing.” 

Steve smiled, sinking back into the seat. “Sure, why not.” 

“Listen,” Billy said, reaching out and grabbing Steve’s wrist so that he could shake it, “you haven’t lived until you’ve put yourself at the mercy of the waves.” 

“That sounds terrifying.” 

“It is. But it’s worth it.” 

Without thinking, Steve slipped his wrist out of Billy’s grasp only to put his hand there. Billy stiffened slightly in his seat before slowly interlacing his fingers with Steve’s. Steve stared down at their hands, shocked at what he’d done and even more shocked that Billy hadn’t reacted badly. When he looked up, he caught Billy glancing at him, a hesitant look on his face. 

“As long as you don’t let me drown,” Steve finally said, “I’d be happy to go surfing.” 

A soft smile appeared on Billy’s lips. “I’ll do my best, pretty boy.” 

As Billy pulled into the parking lot of a diner, they let go of each other’s hands. Steve’s skin felt cold where Billy’s fingers had gripped it, even though it was warm inside the car. But it was enough to know that it had happened. That there was a chance they could be something more. 

By the time they’d sat down and ordered their food, Steve had pretty much forgotten about his parents. He knew it’d only last until he got home, but it was good enough for now. Across the table, Billy was leaning into the rays of sun filtering through the windows up front. 

“Don’t you ever get tired of the sun?” Steve asked, placing an elbow on the table and propping his chin up on his hand. 

Billy smiled languidly. “No. Why do you think I took the lifeguard job?” 

“Because you like people looking at you.” 

“Well, yeah, that, too.” 

Steve hummed in amusement as the waitress came by to drop their food off. They ate in silence for a while before Billy spoke up. 

“Are you sure about leaving with me?” He said it as if scared that Steve would back out if given the chance. 

“Yes,” Steve responded. “I can’t tell you how much it’s killed me, waiting for the day we get out of here.” 

“But that’s the thing: you could’ve gone without me. You could’ve left at any time, but instead you’re waiting for me.” 

Steve looked at Billy, half his face lit up by golden sun, the other half by the fluorescent lighting above. He looked heavenly, almost, despite Steve knowing he was anything but. 

“I could have,” Steve said, even though this was the first time he’d given it any thought. He didn’t have to wait for anyone to be able to leave town. Yet, Billy was one of the only people he would want to do it with. The other person was Robin, but she hadn’t asked him. Billy had. “It’ll be better with you, though.” 

Billy kicked Steve’s foot lightly. “You’re sappy, Harrington.” He looked less troubled, though, smiling slightly. 

“Don’t know if you know this, but you’re a little sappy, too, Hargrove.” 

“Fuck off.” 

Steve grinned around his mouthful of burger, and Billy made a face at him. Then he grinned before stuffing a fry into his mouth. 

“One week,” Billy said when he was done chewing. So little time until they left. 

“One week,” Steve repeated. 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to add a quick note to let you know that the rating went up from T to M for this chapter!

Steve’s heart was beating hard in his chest as he helped Billy stuff clothes into a bag. Billy had had to wait until the last minute to pack, fearing that his dad might find a ready-to-go suitcase in his room. Steve knew that Billy’s dad was at work right now, and his stepmom was at the grocery store, but that didn’t stop him from jumping at every little sound. Billy was just as jumpy.

Yet, there was the hint of a nervous smile on Billy’s face. Steve caught his gaze and gave him a reassuring nod. Billy gave him a sincere smile back. 

“You sure you’ve got everything?” Steve asked as Billy zipped up the bag. 

“I don’t know. Not like I have time to check.” Billy still rifled through his suitcase, anyway, his hands visibly shaking. Then he zipped it up. 

When Billy stood back up, Steve felt like he was looking at him for the first time. Once they left, they’d only be able to rely on each other. They’d have to trust each other. And Steve knew he’d give everything up for Billy in a heartbeat. It was what he was doing now. 

But he still hadn’t told Billy how he felt. 

“Billy, I--” Steve started, then cut himself. Billy stared at him with wide eyes, like he thought Steve was suddenly going to back out of their plan. 

Steve forced his feet forward, towards Billy. He reached out, one hand cupping Billy’s cheek. Billy’s expression had softened, some of the fear draining away. It was now or never. 

Steve leaned in, lips brushing against Billy’s. Billy only hesitated for a second before closing the miniscule space between them. His lips were warm and demanding, pushing against Steve’s mouth. Steve drew in a sharp breath through his nose. It felt like his whole body was on fire, Billy’s hands making it worse as they gripped his hips. 

They both pulled away as they heard a car on the street outside, terrified that someone had come home early. Billy left the room to peer out the front window. Then he pulled back and shook his head. They were fine. 

“We should go,” Billy said, coming back to grab his bag and suitcase. Then he turned to Steve, an unreadable expression on his face. “I guess we’ll have a lot to talk about on our drive.” 

“Yeah, I guess so,” Steve replied, struggling to wrap his head around what had just happened. He could still feel Billy’s fingers digging into his hips, and he wanted more. But now wasn’t the time for that. 

They scurried through the house and outside to Steve’s car. Steve already had his stuff in the trunk, his parents barely noticing his presence as he had walked by them out the front door this morning. How long it’d take them to realize he was gone, he had no idea. If they even noticed before they left for somewhere else again. 

Billy threw his bags in the backseat before sliding into the passenger seat next to Steve. He drummed his fingers against the dash. “Fuck,” he said. “Are we really doing this?” 

Steve turned to him. “Do you want to back out?” 

“Hell no.” 

Steve huffed out a laugh, and Billy shot him a pleased look. Before Steve could think about it, he was pulling out of the driveway. They were doing this. No turning back. 

They sat in tense silent as they drove through town. Eventually, buildings turned to trees turned to a sign telling them that they were leaving Hawkins. Billy let out a long breath as they passed the sign. Then he was rolling down the window and leaning out. 

“Fuck you, Hawkins,” he shouted into the wind. When he sat back down, he was grinning wildly, his hair a mess. 

“We’re really leaving,” Steve muttered. 

Billy reached over and laid a hand on Steve’s leg, giving it a squeeze. “We’re really leaving.” 

Steve glanced over at him. “Happy birthday, by the way.” 

Billy let out a hum. “Thanks.” He stared out the windshield a moment, hand still on Steve’s leg. “Did you mean it?” 

“Mean what?” 

“The kiss.” Billy pulled his hand away, angling himself in his seat to better look at Steve. 

Steve opened and closed his mouth, not sure what Billy wanted to hear. He settled on the truth. “Yes. I’ve wanted to do that for a while.” 

“Why me?” Billy said it so delicately that Steve had to look over to make sure it was really Billy sitting next to him. “You could have anyone you want. Someone who isn’t screwed up.” 

Steve pulled the car over and parked. He turned in his seat to face Billy. “I don’t want anyone else. I want you. And it’s not like you’re the only one here who’s screwed up.” 

Billy stared at him for a long time. Then he blew out a breath. “God, Harrington. You don’t know how many nights I’ve laid awake thinking about you.” 

Steve felt his stomach clench at the thought. He barely had time to react before Billy was leaning over and kissing him. There was no rush this time, no fear of being caught. It was just them. 

Steve should’ve been scared. He’d never liked a guy this much before. He was diving into the deep end, with no thought of what was to come. But it didn’t matter to him because this felt right. It felt real. More than anything else in his life right now. 

Steve pulled away, letting his forehead rest against Billy’s for a second. He wanted to stay like that forever. “Thanks. For asking me to do this.” 

Billy sat up straight and smiled, face a little flushed. “No one I’d rather do this with. Now drive, Harrington. We’ve got a lot of ground to cover.” 

Steve snorted, but did as he was told. When they got to the first gas station outside of Hawkins, Billy ran in and bought a map. He traced out their route as Steve drove west, the sun dipping lower and lower in front of them. 

It wasn’t until they stopped at a motel for the night that it really hit Steve that they had left Hawkins. Probably for good. Would the kids miss him? Would anyone? Part of him hoped so, but another part hoped they didn’t. Maybe he’d send a postcard when he and Billy got where they wanted to go, thousands of miles away.. 

By the time they trudged to their room, Steve was exhausted. Billy looked it, too, though he hadn’t done as much driving as Steve. They threw their bags to the floor and didn’t even take their clothes off before falling onto the same bed. There was a perfectly usable one a few feet away, but Steve didn’t have the willpower to get up and move. 

Billy reached out and gently swept the hair out of Steve’s face, studying him with a soft expression. Then Billy was above him, kissing him, hands all over Steve’s body. It brought Steve awake, wanting to get closer until there was no telling who was who. 

Steve drew in a shaky breath as Billy’s mouth found its way to his neck, teeth scraping against delicate skin. Billy’s hands were under his shirt now. Steve pushed him away long enough to get rid of his shirt. Billy did the same, letting it drop to the floor. 

This wasn’t anything like it’d been with a girl. Steve had let up his control to Billy, soft sounds escaping his lips at each new touch, each inch lower that Billy’s hands wandered. Steve could feel Billy’s length pressing hard against his thigh, just like Steve’s was pressing against Billy. 

Billy paused in his roaming of Steve’s body, breath coming heavy and quick. “Are you sure you want this?” he asked, and it felt like he was asking about more than this moment right now. 

Steve nodded, his own breathing matching Billy’s. “Yes. I’m sure.” 

Billy smiled at him before he pulled Steve’s pants down. Steve shivered. He couldn’t stop himself reaching out towards Billy’s belt, pulling it loose. Then he was undoing the button and pulling the zipper down. 

Billy’s lips were on Steve’s again, capturing his moan as Billy finally took hold of them both, stroking slowly and deliberately. Steve gripped Billy’s back, fingers digging into the exposed skin. Billy groaned, the most wonderful noise Steve had ever heard. 

It wasn’t long before Billy’s pace picked up. Steve’s hips twitched forward, heat building below his stomach. Then he was going over the edge, moaning Billy’s name. Billy followed not long after, spilling across Steve’s stomach. 

They laid where they were for a while, breathing hard. Then Billy rolled off Steve and got up to head to the bathroom. Steve closed his eyes, the exhaustion hitting him again. He heard Billy come back to the bed, then Steve felt a warm washcloth against his skin, wiping him clean. A second later, Billy was climbing into bed next to him, one arm snaking under Steve’s head. 

Steve fell asleep with Billy tracing patterns into his skin with his finger. 


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there, I just want to leave a little heads up that I probably won't be posting next week. I should, however, be back to posting the week after next. Thanks!

The sun streaming through the front windshield warmed Steve’s chest, making him sink further into the passenger seat in his drowsy state. The road in front of them had barely any cars on it, but it didn’t feel empty. Billy was driving, one hand on the steering wheel and the other holding Steve’s hand. They were almost six days out of Hawkins, coming closer and closer to being in California.

Billy had a slight grin on his face, looking more carefree than Steve had ever seen him. It didn’t matter that they were both tired from driving for hours on end, or that they had no real plan once they got where they were going. They’d actually done it. They’d made it out of Hawkins. They were going to make it to California. 

Steve wasn’t sure the last time he’d felt so light. So free. Just being in this cramped car with Billy was enough for him, as long as they kept going forward. 

Billy squeezed his hand. “What’re you thinking about, pretty boy?” 

Steve glanced over at him, really seeing how alive Billy looked in this moment. “You.” 

Billy’s grin grew wider. “I hope they’re good thoughts.” 

Steve shrugged. “Well, I was thinking that you drive like a lunatic, so…” 

Billy snorted. “I drive perfectly fine.” He paused. “Most of the time.” 

“Of course you do,” Steve replied, putting his feet up on the dash. 

“Shut up, Harrington,” Billy said affectionately, pulling Steve’s hand closer to place a kiss on his knuckles. 

Steve still felt a surge of warmth in his stomach at the touch of Billy’s lips on his skin, even after spending the last few nights with Billy’s lips all over him. “Eyes on the road, Hargrove,” he said, but there was no punch behind it. 

Billy hummed, then focused back on his driving. It was less than an hour later that they saw it, the simple green sign welcoming them to California. Billy let out a laugh, startling Steve. Then Steve started to laugh, too. 

“We’re fucking here, baby,” Billy said, eyes bright. 

*****

Billy was asleep in the passenger seat. Steve had taken over driving not too long after they’d crossed state lines, Billy too jittery to continue driving. Billy had spent a long time gazing out the window, completely silent as he took everything in. It was almost dark out now, hours later. Steve had a good idea where he was headed, even without Billy guiding him. 

It wasn’t long before Steve could see the coast breaking across the horizon line. Water sparkled orange and red in the dying light. Steve kept driving, until he found a place to park near an empty beach, a row of shops on the opposite side of the street. A few people milled about on the sidewalks, walking in and out of the shops. Steve reached over and jostled Billy awake. 

Billy sat up with a start, looking disoriented for a second. Then his eyes cleared as he gazed out at the beach. He glanced at Steve, a soft expression on his face, before opening the car door and stepping out. Steve got out, too, stretching despite his muscles protesting. 

Billy met Steve at the front of the car, rolling his shoulders. He briefly reached out to Steve, one hand brushing against Steve’s waist. Steve smiled at him before they started their walk down to the beach. The streetlights lining the road behind them began flickering to life, but their light didn’t carry far out onto the sand. Billy seemed sure of his footing, though. Steve followed him, feet slipping a little in the sand. 

They stopped at the edge of the water, gazing out. The sun was finally disappearing past the horizon, making the ocean turn black. The waves lapped gently at the sand, a soft and soothing noise. Steve breathed in deeply, the smell of salt filling his senses. 

Billy was still, nowhere near as fidgety as he’d been when they’d first crossed into California. Steve looked over at him, watching Billy’s face. He saw longing there, but also contentment. 

“What are thinking about, pretty boy?” Steve asked gently, repeating the words Billy had said to him in the car all those hours ago. 

Billy looked at Steve. “How nice it is to be home. With you.” He fell quiet a moment. “Thank you, Steve. For coming with me. I know I’m not always the easiest person to be around, but you still stuck by me. I… Thanks.” 

Steve wanted to reach out and brush the hair out of Billy’s face. But not here, not out in the open, even if it was dark. Instead, Steve nudged BIlly with his shoulder. “I should say thanks, too. I don’t think I would’ve left Hawkins if you hadn’t asked. And you know what? I don’t feel so lonely anymore.” 

Steve could barely make out Billy’s smile in the dark, but it was there. “I’m happy, Steve. I’m actually happy.” 

“Me, too,” Steve said quietly. 

“It’s weird, though. Not having to worry about my dad. Part of me still expects him to show up out of nowhere and drag me back to Hawkins.” 

Steve stared at the side of Billy’s face, nothing more than a shadow in the rising moonlight. He wasn’t sure any reassurances from him would help. Billy took the silence as room to keep speaking. 

“You know, for the longest time I was scared of being around you. I liked you a lot, but something in the back of my mind kept trying to tell me that you’d turn out to be like him.” Steve didn’t need any clarification that Billy was referring to his dad. “But then time and time again, you didn’t. And I just… You’re a really good person, Steve. I’m lucky to be here with you.” 

Steve moved closer, grasping Billy’s hand momentarily before moving away again. They stood in silence for a while longer, watching the waves. There was a lot ahead of them. They’d need jobs and a place to live. Maybe one day, they’d go back to school. Or maybe not. And they’d actually have to talk about what was happening between them, if they both saw their relationship the same way. 

But that was all stuff to worry about tomorrow, Steve told himself. For tonight, they’d crash at a motel and sleep off almost an entire week of traveling. And in the morning, in the light of day, they’d face their futures together. 

**Author's Note:**

> [Links to other sites I'm on](http://linktr.ee/kpkl10)
> 
> [My harringrove playlist on spotify](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2FY7efDZxf1Bd8fSjDJOnT?si=1OqsucbYRBGqZXdwhd2vbQ)
> 
> Feel free to message me if you'd like!


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